Adventures, Great and Small

In many ways, it feels like every day in Malawi holds a new adventure – some better than others, and some bigger than others – but adventures nonetheless. As I think I mentioned before, every time I board any form of Malawian transportation, there’s surely an adventure in store. Easter break, for example: on my way south, I sat next to a very nice man who INSISTED that I eat a cob of corn with him (I think he brought it from home?). Legit would NOT take no for an answer. And coming home, what should have been a 9ish hour journey turned out to be about 30 once all breakdowns, fuel stops, times of driving in the wrong direction, instances of locking the passengers in the car with no door handle, and mandatory overnight stops were accounted for. I think the best moment of the latter journey was when Mr. Nyasulu and I, both playing snake on our phones, turned to our left to see a 6-year old doing the same. Maturity level identified. We both lowered our heads in shame and stopped immediately. But even if I’m not traveling, so many day-to-day occurrences are shocking, hilarious, amazing, and/or just generally unexpected. Recently, I discovered that my headmaster has a favorite adjective to attribute to those who are frustrating him: “blood-f*cking”. WHAT?! Where in the WORLD did he LEARN that?! And is he trying to say “blood-sucking,” or does he really mean to say.. well, what he’s saying?! Also, you need to know that this guy is a 5-foot tall, round, jolly little man who generally laughs to diffuse any and all confrontation, so this newly-coined phrase came WAY out of left field. Another recent adventure: our school’s computer has a virus, and a BAD one at that. I spent hours talking through solutions with those more knowledgeable than I, but as of yet, nothing has worked. Finally, I spoke with the PCV who was here before me and who acquired the computer to find out if there is a Windows disc to wipe the computer clear and re-install. He (James) laughed. I knew something good (or bad) was coming, but this, I could not have predicted: “Well, I was showing Mr. Nyasulu a game we play at home shooting things we throw off of the roof, and we were spearing objects, and well…” NO. But yes. They clay-pigeoned the Windows disc. They threw the CD off the roof of the library and SPEARED it. James, if you are reading this, you will surely be the victim of some witchcraft.

In terms of less hilarious and exciting adventures, yesterday, one of the grade-A harassment cops showed up at my front door. First of all, you need to understand that for a man to visit a single woman at her home is SERIOUSLY not okay in Malawian culture, which is why I told him and all of the others who gave me a hard time at the station that they were welcome to visit me AT SCHOOL, but NOT at my home. Clearly that message went through. So this officer, Joe, shows up yesterday, tells me in a very self-congratulatory manner that he didn’t even bother stopping at the school first because he knows exactly where my home is, and then proceeds to ask questions to see “how his sister is doing,” all while inching closer and closer to me as I stand blockading him from entering the premises. Finally, he is peering around the doorframe, asking about all of the snaps (photos) on my walls and trying to gain access to my living room, so I abruptly excused myself and shut the door on him. Too bad Mr. Mwafulirwa, with his panga knife and bush-crouching, can’t be my 24-hour body guard.

But on to happier things and the biggest adventure of late: Mt. Mulanje! This past break, Elisabeth, Meg, Alexis, Jerrod, Yeager, and I conquered the third highest peak in Africa! The summit, Sapetwa, stands at 3,002 m, or 9,846 ft, above sea-level, and many Malawians will tell you never to go there because witchcraft surrounds it. I can’t say that we made it up and back without trials – EXTREME trials, in fact – but we did it! There are many things that Malawians do that I think are genius in a country of limited resources. For example, in a place that lacks many options for food-on-the-go, whoever started hard-boiling eggs to sell to travelers by the side of the road deserves a serious pat on the back. One thing they have NOT figured out yet, however, is switchbacks. When hiking in Malawi, if you’re going up, you’re going UP. STRAIGHT up. They were NOT messing around when they carved out a trail for Mulanje hikers. It’s like hiking at the slant of the Half Dome cables the majority of the time. And we, as poor Peace Corps Volunteers and perhaps overly-confident outdoor enthusiasts, decided that we could certainly do this venture without porters. I believe that we were the only group I saw during our three days on the mountain that did not have at least one guy helping to drag stuff up the hill. But aside from the HARDCORE nature of the hike in general, our trek to the summit on day two was particularly.. outrageous. The last 2-3 hours before you reach the peak is essentially bouldering up a huge mound of rocks, and while this would have been fun and only slightly scary in normal conditions, about 40 minutes from the top, it started to rain. Four of us decided (bad idea) to go up anyway, and after we reached the summit and took a picture to celebrate, we turned around and started down. I wouldn’t say that what were doing was “hiking” at this point, though – in this storm, it was more like crawling, sliding, slipping, and gripping onto anything in our path to keep us from doing these things right off the edge of a cliff. It took us a loooong time to scramble down like this, and so to add insult to injury, we also watched the sun disappear and had to hike our last slippery hour in darkness. I almost died, more than once, as did many of the others, but in the end, each and every one of us made it in one piece (scrapes and bruises, sure, but all limbs intact). I can’t say the same for our clothing, though. I believe 2/3rds of us ripped our pants coming down (in the battle of butt versus granite, the stone wins every time). Meg and Alexis ripped their pants so badly that you couldn’t even call them pants any more, and other articles of clothing (particularly Jerrod’s) were lost while trying to dry them by the fire (Dear Jerrod, When you put your underwear on a grill plate over an open flame, they’re doing to burn. Love, Common Sense, P.S. Hiking boots can burn, too). But honestly, all ridiculousness considered, I had an amazing time and, if it were guaranteed that my comrades and I would live, I would do it all again in a heartbeat. Mulanje is incredibly beautiful, and unlike many trails in the states that become ant-trails to daily hordes of people, we ran into only a few groups of hikers during our three days on the mountain. Most of the people we saw, actually, were Malawian men, cutting trees up top and then carrying HUGE wooden planks down the hill on their shoulders. While barefoot. This made our struggles seem all the more pathetic, haha. Also, while Malawi hasn’t figured out the switchback thing yet, they are seriously on top of it when it comes to hiker accommodations. Adorable little log cabins have been constructed at various strategic locations on the path, each complete with mattresses and a night watchmen who lights a fire immediately upon your arrival (both for warmth and cooking purposes). The cabins are positioned perfectly for astounding views and chilly baths in streams of mountain runoff, and are fully equipped with soda and beer that you can purchase (and cool in aforementioned streams) and cooking materials (as long as you have the hook-up with the secret, special key). It was nice to hear the environment volunteer who works at Mulanje say we did it the “right way” when we told him about our adventure (namely the abundance of food we dragged up with us – we had delicious stir-fries with veggies and soya at night, and toast, fried eggs, and coffee in the morning). All in all, we had a totally ridiculous, totally hardcore, and totally amazing time.

There are so many adventures I’d love to tell you about – visiting a chicken farm with Mr. Nyasulu in preparation for a small business venture we’re attempting to get going with a group of women in my village (I saw more chickens in one instant that I had in my whole life cumulatively up to that point); christening my newly-constructed brick oven by baking chocolate chip cookies with Mr. N and my headmaster, Mr. Ngwira; getting paid 50 kwacha by a Malawian taxi driver for letting him give me a hug (he wanted to give me 50MWK to marry him, but settled for the embrace); trying desperately to read and understand a star chart while sitting on the lakeshore with my buddy Duncan (looking up at the sky in a country where light pollution isn’t an issue is absolutely mind-blowing). I wonder what incredible exploits tomorrow will bring..

The computers at Peace Corps are way overloaded and slow right now, so I'm going to work on posting pictures tomorrow =)