First of all, I don’t think I ever really processed how FAR AWAY Malawi is. From the time I stepped into a cab in Lilongwe to the time I set foot on non-airport American soil, I think I ate 8 or 9 airplane/airport meals (definitely more than I needed, but hey, when you’re awake for that long straight and airlines are putting pizza in front of your face, especially after 15 months of rice and beans, who’s to say no?). I think I was in transit for a grand total of.. 41 hours? The funny part is that going back was worse, HA! I left my house at 4 pm on Sunday evening and arrived in Malawi at 10 am on WEDNESDAY. But that was due to the forward time change and a couple of well-worthy layovers (9 hours in NYC, and 13 hours in Accra, where I got to go out into the city and hang out with Jason!). Anyway, backing up.. flying home was Lilongwe, Malawi – Nampala, Mozambique – Nairobi, Kenya – Amsterdam, Netherlands – Minneapolis, Minnesota – Las Vegas, Nevada. Yep. I stepped off of a field in Malawi and into a silver bullet that (many bullets and airports later) spit me out into possibly the most obscene spectacle America has to offer. From my village, where there is ONE light bulb illuminated at night within any discernable distance, straight to the strip. It was a trip. Like a true Californian, I went straight to In-N-Out (oh my GOSH, it’s SO GOOD) and then dumped my stuff in our hotel before going to a Cirque du Soleil show with my mom. What does that mean I wore to the show? My ratty travel outfit (see Mozam photos, or think ripped-up, cut-off sweatpants, a fleece pullover, and flip flops). What was the woman wearing who went into the theater in front of me? Full-length fur coat. I mean, maybe I was underdressed.. but STILL. Why do those things even EXIST?! Anyway.. the show was amazing (Elvis), but I could barely keep my eyes open, so we went back to the hotel afterward and I crashed HARD (in a bed that felt like a CLOUD, WOW. My mattress here is a 5 inch thick piece of foam.). The next couple of days mommy and I went outlet shopping, ate amazing food, and took in the sights. And by “sights” I mean everything from the incredible Christmas display at the Bellagio to the (less exciting, but equally mind-boggling for me) ROWS AND ROWS OF INCREDIBLE PACKAGED THINGS AT WHOLE FOODS. Or the NUMBER of LANES on Las Vegas Boulevard – I can only think of two places in ALL of Malawi where you can find more than one lane in either direction! Or the SHELVES of books at Borders. My GOODNESS. I knew it was all there but it still felt so unbelievable to be standing in front of it after experiencing this life for over a year. My “supermarket” has.. 4 aisles? And 2 of those 4 are filled with insecticides, cleaning supplies, toilet paper, and buckets. The other 2 have: peanut butter, honey, chips, cookies, salt, sugar, a handful of other spices, corn flour, cooking oil, vinegar, hot sauce, margarine (sort of..), rice, sodas, instant coffee, tea, milk powder, tomato paste, and on good days, spaghetti noodles, corn flakes, oats, and maybe even yogurt or cheese (that has usually melted on the way and doesn’t even LOOK appetizing). My mom just dropped me at Whole Foods and left because she knew she wouldn’t be able to handle it. The funny part is that things like supermarkets, Targets, or department stores were in equal parts exciting and overwhelming/upsetting for me. Toward the end of my trip I was standing in the shampoo aisle, completely lost, looking at all of these colored bottles, different but the same, immobilized by confusion, and finally just put my basket down and called Kathleen to have a mental breakdown. Honestly! I also made the mistake of going to Macy’s After Christmas Sale with my mom to buy a new pair of jeans to bring back to Malawi and nearly cried. I think there were more pairs of jeans in the juniors department alone than PEOPLE I KNOW IN MY LIFE. I combed thru them for awhile and tried on a few and finally had to leave because it was just too much for me. We have SO MUCH.. WHY do we NEED that much? I was talking to a friend of mine here who also went home for Christmas and she said that what she was happy about seeing in America was how hard people work to have that much, which I can also appreciate. But being at home I couldn’t help feel that.. I don’t know.. in some truly idealistic, or socialistic, way, the distribution just does NOT make sense. WHY do we have all of these things? It just feels like we took the global community and arbitrarily put down some divider lines and said, “Okay, MINE!” Obviously some of these lines are more effective and harder to overcome (ie. OCEANS), and I like to think I’m intelligent enough to understand it’s more complicated than that, and that resources, and how we UTILIZE and CAPITALIZE on these resources plays a role, as do many other factors. I mean, at one point America was an undeveloped plot of dirt like everywhere else, right? But at this point it just feels like our development involves making every exit from the freeway look EXACTLY like the others. Where’s the nearest Wal-Mart? 3 EXITS DOWN?! Oh no, we definitely need a closer option. And much as I love Starbucks.. how RIDICULOUS. And the extent to which people are tied to their cell phones.. I mean, it’s like face-to-face time is becoming obsolete. Pretty soon we’ll all just live in the 5-mile radius that surrounds our freeway exit and do all personal and professional business via electronic gadgets and gizmos. We’ll look AMAZING while we do it, though. I swear, the girl in the FACEWASH aisle with me at Target looked like she was going straight from buying Clean & Clear to the GRAMMIES. Did I miss the memo? WHY ARE YOU WEARING HIGH HEELS AT TARGET?! And with access to so many things, and so many comforts, the things people find to complain about.. MAN. Thank God for my cousin, who just got home from Afghanistan, because he was the only one who was as baffled as I was. He nearly murdered a woman at In-N-Out who was going into conniptions over the lack of TOILET SEAT COVERS. Wait.. you mean there’s a REAL FLUSHING TOILET IN THIS JOINT?! IS IT MY BIRTHDAY?! I don’t know.. I could go on and on, but the gist is this: while life here is really tough sometimes, relatively, it makes so much more sense to me. It’s simpler, and extended families are closer, and people help each other more, and are way less concerned with.. well, a lot of junk. I could definitely do with a cheeseburger and a shower every once in awhile, but I only want them because it’s what I’m used to. If I didn’t know they existed, I wouldn’t crave them, and then.. well then, this life has everything that I need. I should, however, put an asterisk next to that statement and a footnote that reads “minus adequate transportation and medical care.” And maybe “access to protein,” haha. No place is perfect =)
I’ve gone off-topic about what my trip entailed and onto a tangential rant how my experience has affected me, but ultimately, I think that’s the interesting part anyway. I ate a lot of good food (a LOT of it), saw friends and family, played with my puppy, drove, and enjoyed many of the things about my American life that I miss while I’m here. If you’ll forgive one further digression before I post a few photos of fun stuff-and-things, I think the most challenging, but important, thing for me to realize being home was how inexplicable many elements of my life here are.. and always will be. Tello stopped me mid-story once to ask this: “..you do realize that everything you’re describing to me is so foreign you might as well be telling me about Mars?” I guess, no – I hadn’t realized that. And I definitely hadn’t realized how hard it would be to have everyone I know (minus the kids who are over here with me) be in that same boat. I’m not totally sure how to deal with that one yet, but I do think it was incredibly important for me to have to face that now so I know to expect it when I go home. Or I need to start bribing my friends to come visit ;-)
As promised, some fun things!
My first sit-down meal, California Pizza Kitchen (it’s hard to even look at these now that I’m back in Malawi):
The beautiful Christmas display at the Bellagio:
A true testament to how much Jordan has affected my life – I walked past this shirt and momentarily thought of buying it for myself:
WHY WOULD I DO THAT?! If it makes it any better, though, I wanted to buy this one for him:
I opted instead for a “Things you need to know about Chuck Norris” shirt. It was his birthday, after all (Jordan’s. Not Chuck’s.).
After Vegas came.. MY REUNION WITH SPIKERZ!
The only time I cried while home was leaving him once again =(
Mommy, Spike and I baked cookies for Santa on Christmas Eve:
And we spent some time with my second family, the Gustafsons, for the holidays. Here are brothers, Seth and Jared:
And us harassing sleeping sister, Taylor:
And all of us:
Here’s my cousin and life-saver, Brandon:
And the beer on tap that we SO APPRECIATED AND ENJOYED:
There’s one beer company in Malawi – Carlsberg. Comes in 5 varieties. That’s all, folks.
I hung out with the Tarantello sisters at Downtown Disney:
And we partied it up on New Year’s Eve:
And I even got to see the SNOW before coming back to what is surely one of the hottest places on Earth. Here’s my home in winter wonderland:
And the drive to the airport:
Crazy dichotomy.
So many other things didn’t/couldn’t make it into photo documentation, like lunch with Les, or long talks with Kath and Deech, or a surprise Cali visit from Jeff, or an epic Ghanaian day with Jas. Or the most amazing Christmas present ever, ie. A MASSAGE, during which I was asked “wow, got some boulders in there, do we?” Yeah, well.. life’s been stressful. And for those of you I touched base with via email, or facebook, or text, and didn’t get to see or talk to (Teenie, Noah, Kyle, JD, Cait, Steve-O, Jemusi…) – I’m so sorry, and SO SAD. Minus my Vegas trip, Christmas Eve and day, and visits to family, I had.. 6 days at home? I felt like a chicken running around with my head cut off. I wish I could explain to all my friends and family how often I think of you, but you’ll just have to take my word for it – you are epically missed. But my time here is now on the downward slope! Which I have.. very mixed emotions about, inevitably. Regardless, I’ll see you before you know it =)
Before I sign off on this entry, I want to touch on one other thing. I’ve also made vague reference recently to lots of emotional stuff going on, which involves both internal and interpersonal struggles of my own and of many people I love. I’m not going to elaborate on what this all entails, but after a few really tough weeks (excited as I was to come back, and still am to be back, life here can drop on you pretty hard and fast), I had a moment of clarity today. I came to a realization, and while it’s in no way novel, it feels particularly poignant at this moment: life’s too short. There are so many things that require our attention and concern on a daily basis, but it feels like so much energy ends up being spent on stress that could so easily be avoided if people would just.. be good to each other. Sometimes I feel like we all must just be really bored to create these kinds of taxing and traumatic circumstances for each other. Honestly. In so many situations recently, I’ve just wanted to ask, “Did you make the CONSCIOUS CHOICE to treat someone else like garbage when it would have been so easy for you to just.. NOT?” Anyway, I’m not big on New Year’s Resolutions, but I’m just going to do my best to cause/participate in as FEW of these kinds of situations as possible. I like to think treating others well is a top priority of mine at any and all times of the year, but it never hurts to do a spot check, right? Anyway, like many of my life-altering moments, this one was inspired by a song, the lyrics of which I’m posting below. It’s by a guy named Peter Bradley Adams, and I highly recommend you download it (words are awesome, but when you put them to music, THERE’S the magic).
Lastly, because I like to end on a not-so-weighty note, do you think they used my GIANT MARSHMALLOWS when making this?
TALK ABOUT THINGS WE DON’T NEED. (I’d be lying if I said I didn’t consider buying it. I mean, it’s a 2 pound Rice Crispies Treat, after all.)
Family Name, by Peter Bradley Adams
I look around to find the way it all began
The years, they’ve turned like the heart of a man
But I say that I am grateful for the time that has passed
And I'll stay right where I am
Well I raise my glass with the unfortunate ones
Were broken and tired from the miles we have run
But our hearts they are open and the healings begun
And now our chance has come
Win or lose, it’s a hell of a game
The roads we choose, they all end up the same
So rest your hearts on the family name
And we’ll find our way back home
I look around at the ones I adore
Forgive me the chances I’ve wasted before
And I pray for the courage not to miss them anymore
That’s all I’m asking for
Win or lose, it’s a hell of a game
The roads we choose, they all end up the same
So rest your hearts on the family name
And we’ll find our way back home
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